The dark side of the moon
by Quintessence88
Summary: What happens when Zoe accepts John's offer to go to the Penthouse Suite? Set during 2x15
1. Chapter 1

Since the first moment I saw them together it was impossible not to love them! I know Zoe & John shippers are not many (I loved Carter, rest in peace but John wasn't the man for her) but I hope the few ones will appreciate this ff. I start by saying English's not my mother language so forgive me for any mistakes you'll find in the chapters, please!

The story is set during 2x15 episode…. Enjoy & reviews, thanks!

A little smirk appeared on her face before she swallowed her drink. Zoe Morgan, the New York City fixer, was sitting on a stool at the Coronet hotel's bar - impeccable as always in her cobalt blue sheath dress - when she received an offer so tempting to be refused…

"The Penthouse Suite, another round?" John Reese, _the man in the suit_, waved his room key with a cocky smile. He was not an ordinary man and not only for his special job - the one that let him meet her and save her life – but for the incredible burden he carried with himself, a past impossible to forget, a present constantly at risk and maybe no future.

The first time they met she was just a number he had to protect, a challenging woman with a very uneasy job, always on the line. Just like him. The second time they met she helped him with a case involving a journalist Maxine, a pretty woman, enough to be jealous if it was her style. The third time they met he opened a little velvet box and said those words she'd have never expected to hear: _Zoe Morgan, will you be my wife? _ And it was also funny to be his wife, _pretending_, playing poker and drinking scotch until it lasted. No matter how many times they could bump into each other, their undeniable chemistry was always there, a welcoming presence lingering between them every time they smirked at each other, every time she teased him, every time he undressed her with his deep gaze.  
In spite of everything, she was not just a piece of flesh, she was smart, witty, sexy, so beautiful that it hurt: stunning in every way. Knowing all the city's dirty little secrets, she got it in the palm of her hand, walking for those streets in her designer high heels and tight dresses. She was powerful and self-confident, not the kind of woman a man could turn into a puddle but she had to give him credit, he knew the right moves.

John Reese had loved only a woman in his life, Jessica, but he had never shared that kind of chemistry with anybody, only with Zoe and he had never wanted a woman like he wanted her.

They finished their drinks and left the bar. During their ride in the elevator none of them said a word but their heavy breaths betrayed them, the tension was there, the desire, the need. Their hands were about to touch when the doors slid open and he led the way towards the suite.  
Zoe Morgan had never felt nervous before a rendezvous with a man but this time seemed different, it was John and even if she tried to deny with herself, she was affected by him.

The door closed behind her with a thud and he turned around, a predatory look on his face, they looked at each other for endless time, their eyes darker for the anticipation, skin burned by such intensity. He cut the distance and reached her.

"So... what about the other round?"

His raspy voice gave her thrills, how could a man be so handsome and damned? She swallowed trying not to show any emotion, she had to stay lucid.  
"Are you trying to get me drunk, John?" she purred

He smirked gently touching her beautiful face, tracing the line of her fully lips with his fingertips: she was more than gorgeous with her mouth parted, she was captivating, so _fuckable_ he couldn't almost restrain himself. Trapped against the door, she could feel his breath on her neck, she couldn't escape nor she wanted to and when he sucked her earlobe, Zoe closed her eyes for a moment to accustom to those sensations; when their gazes met again, he brushed his lips against hers. The kiss was gentle and soft at the beginning but grew wilder and hard soon, she opened her mouth willing to let him in, tasting his tongue in a duel of passion. They kept kissing like two magnets with opposite poles, his hand reached her thigh stroking it gently then lifted her dress to touch her soft skin. She moaned in his mouth, incapable of hiding her want anymore and John turned her, pressing his erection against her bottom and slowly unzipping her dress. It should have been considered the 21th century's torture, because what he was doing to her couldn't be legal, the slow movements, his heavy breathing against her skin, his hard body against hers: only her strong dignity prevented her from begging.

John took his time kissing every inch of her now exposed back's skin while her dress went down pooling at her feet. He admired her for a second, her toned and muscular legs, her perfect derriere and very fine taste in lingerie: God, the things he wanted to do to that woman. Feeling the loss of his heat, Zoe pushed back grinding against him…

"Someone's impatient…" he whispered in her ear

He didn't wait for her answer, he simply picked her up carrying her to the bed. Lying there in her red lacy set, for the first time Zoe noticed the deep and warm voice singing in the background, it was her favorite singer, how could he know it? But she lost the train of her thoughts when he slipped her red sole shoe out – _Christian Louboutin_ of course – and started licking and nibbling her instep, she inhaled and closed her eyes. John's kisses reached her ankle, her knee and up her thigh breathing on her clenched core: he was killing her!

"John…"

"Open your eyes, Zoe"

It was an order that she simply accomplished, her eyes full of lust almost made him come undone.

"Gorgeous" he kissed her lips, her neck, smelling her sweet fragrance, Chanel n5. Zoe took advantage of his distraction and flipped them over smiling.

"You're a bit overdressed, don't you think?" she said unbuttoning his white shirt but he captured her mouth again, letting his hands wandering on her body.

She kissed his jaw, licked and nibbled at his neck, his jugular, his tendons, caressing his sculpted chest until the pants' hem... she glanced at the evident bulge between his legs and rubbed against it.

"Zoe..." He blocked her waist and flipped them over again pinning her wrists above her head. She laughed and that was the most beautiful sound he had heard in a long time, her eyes sparkled naughtily when he got up to unbuckle his belt and remove pants and boxer. She licked her lips appreciating the view...

"You like what you see, Ms Morgan?"

"Definitely"

"Who is overdressed now?" he asked playing with her straps

She unhooked her bra and let it fall to the floor showing her beautiful breasts he attacked kissing and biting her nipples.

"John… I want you" she whispered and he lost his mind, hooked his thumbs in her panties and tore them apart.

"John! That was my favorite set!"

"I'll buy you a new one" he kissed her to shut her up and entered her with a swift motion

"Oh God" she stifled a moan

He gave her time to adjust to his size and then started moving, slowly building their rhythm. Zoe wasn't the kind of woman who was passive during sex, she liked having control, driving men crazy but John… he was a predator, he liked dominating in bed just like she did and she didn't need the end of the night to figure it out. His thrusts were deep and strong, his lips couldn't get enough of hers, as if she was sending oxygen straight down to his lungs, his hands were everywhere trying to mesmerize every inch of her skin as if he could never see it again. It was supposed to be _just sex_ but from the way his pierced blue eyes were looking at her it seemed so much more… it was beautiful, powerful and scary. The only thing that Zoe was able to do when she was scared was taking control, so she wrapped her legs around his waist and change their position: she was on top again.

"You're a woman full of surprises, Zoe Morgan"

"And you haven't seen anything yet" she whispered

She started riding him, the feeling of him inside her made her arch her back and enjoy that exquisite pleasure she was feeling, so carnal yet so different compared to her past sexual encounters. No one had ever worshipped her body that way, every single touch or kiss or little bite pointed straight to her soul: he was messing her up and she knew it.

John met her thrust for thrust keeping one of his hand on her waist to guide her movements and the other in her long wavy hair to draw her close, her body responded to him like a tuned instrument.

"Oh John… yes"

He sensed she was close, as soon as he brushed her clitoris her thighs started quivering and her eyes rolled in the back of her head, she reached the climax biting his shoulder but John didn't even give her time to recover flipping them over again and starting to thrust hard and fast into her. Looking at her with her hair scattered on the pillow, her flushed cheeks, her sparkling eyes and that naughty smile…

"Come for me, John"

Her soft whisper was his undoing, he closed his eyes and came with her name on his lips spilling himself inside her.

He rolled over letting her rest on his chest, her hair tickled his face but they stayed like that for minutes that seemed to last an eternity, Zoe listening his heart beat returning normal, John caressing her skin. Coming back from their high, they silently realized what happened between them, not just a _fuck_, but so much more that any of them were prepared for. Zoe raised her head and looked at him worried about his next move, but John simply kissed her smiling. She slid to her side of the bed uncomfortable, she could feel the stickiness between her legs and for the first time since she crossed that threshold, she felt that it was all a mistake. She shouldn't have had random sex, at least not with him, she didn't want to be his fuck buddy! What did she want then? At the moment, just running away. Zoe Morgan, the workaholic, calm, powerful and self-confident fixer felt so vulnerable and exposed, he uncovered her soul, made her let the guard down without even noticing but the worst thing was that he made her want _more_: he showed her how it could be between them. John reached and hugged her from behind, smelling her hair…

"Is everything okay?" he asked

"Yes, sure"

But she wasn't so convincing and he was an ex well-trained CIA operative, he knew when someone was lying.

"Zoe…"

"It's fine John, just… go to sleep"

Sensing she didn't want to talk, he simply obeyed still holding her tight in his arms. She was where she wanted to be, so why did she feel the urge of running away? She knew he got something, he wasn't stupid and in that moment of vulnerability she didn't give her best at hiding her emotions.

Spending the night with him meant talking the next morning and she couldn't do that, not before clearing her head, having a shower and sleeping in her own bed, without his body distracting her.

Zoe patiently waited for his breath to turn regular and slow, the sign he was really sleeping, then she tried to free herself from his tight embrace: there was something almost possessive in that grip, the way his strong arm was on her stomach almost touching her breast was screaming a message that didn't go unnoticed to her. Exhaling, she stepped out of the bed carefully, trying not to wake him up, John mumbled something and hugged the pillow.

Zoe put her clothed on, stopping a moment to stare at him in the darkness, his muscled back, his strong arms and his face so relaxed during the sleeping, then took her purse and her pair of Louboutins in her hands and went away. She left the room feeling _dirty_, thinking about what was left of their night together: a sting in her heart, a ruined lingerie set and a too good orgasm.

Zoe Morgan had never done the walk of shame and yet she felt as if it was exactly what she was doing.

_**Few hours later…**_

When John woke up, he touched the blankets next to him finding the bed empty and cold. It was predictable, he gathered that from the way she stiffened after sex, but he'd have never thought Zoe was that _kind_ of woman, the kind who run away in the middle of the night like a thief, without a word or a note.

When he invited her to the suite he knew they'd have ended up in bed, they danced around each other for so long, playing with fire, with their attraction, it was just inevitable but he didn't expect that, the physical need to have her in his arms, to make it last, to never let her go. What they shared, _the sex not sex_, was amazing, he hasn't felt that way since long time… What was wrong with him? What was about Zoe Morgan to make him feel so attached to her?

He got up and started dressing, they needed to talk, she owed him an explanation and no, it couldn't wait tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

_Sorry guys, I didn't get the emails of your reviews (I don't know why I didn't get them) so I thought no one liked the story. Btw yes I've already written a new chapter I'm posting now... I hope you like it! Enjoy & review, please! _

Not so far from Coronet Hotel, someone else couldn't manage to sleep, Zoe was in bed staring at the ceiling and thinking of him, John. Maybe she shouldn't have left that way but it was done by now and she could only hope he'd have understood, she needed some time alone to ponder and recollect every single happening of that night. She was a fixer after all, wasn't she? She'd have found a solution, _fixed_ them and their situation but John wasn't a man who could be fixed.

_I don't think there's a woman out there alive who could fix you, John… _she laughed bitterly at her own words because she was right, she was so good at predicting things, even the most obvious ones. Her laughs turned easily into sobs shaking her inside and she curled up in a ball in order to soothe herself: she had never felt that bad in her life, not since she was a little girl whose father was arrested. She was a tough woman, a badass, not one of those weepers, Zoe Morgan did not cry, never! She didn't even know why she was crying, because of all and nothing, she has had two hard days working and not getting any rest, the stake was always so high in her job and after what happened between her and John, she couldn't keep the pressure at bay. As soon as she brushed her tears away, she heard the doorbell. It was him and for a second she just thought to ignore him pretending to be asleep but she knew he'd have opened the door by himself, so she forced herself to get up.

"Do you what time is it, John?" she asked annoyed

She didn't know the hour herself, she was just making a scene hoping that he wouldn't have gone away…vain hope. He pasted the door sitting down the couch comfortably, only the small lamp on the coffee table was on spreading a dimmer light in the living room.

"Why are you here?" she pressed but she did knew the answer

"Why did you leave?"

She exhaled exasperated folding her arms to the chest, he knew how to read the body language and that wasn't a good sign.

"You cried"

"I didn't!" she affirmed vehemently

"You did"

"It's just the allergy" she barely whispered

What a lame excuse! She could do better but not at that time of the night, not with him looking at her in that way as if _he_ wanted to **fix** her.

"I'll try again, do you want to tell me why you left before?"

"Do you want something to drink?"

"Answer the question, Zoe" his voice low yet firm

She poured herself a scotch and swallowed it with a gulp, if they did need to talk about that now, she needed a little bit of help. She sit down at the other side of the couch facing him, twisting her hands, he had never seen her like that.

"You know why I left"

"No, I don't"

"Don't play dumb with me, John. You got what you wanted, there's no need to be a gentleman"

"What do you know about what I wanted?"

She raised a brow

"I think you're not telling me everything"

"There's nothing to say" she lowered her gaze

"You're scared Zoe, that's why you left in the middle of the night but I need you to tell me why"

"That's what I usually do after sex, I leave, with my panties on"

He smirked at her dig, then his expression turned serious "We both know it wasn't _just_ sex…"

She felt her stomach making a double flip.

"Does it matter?"

"It does… to me" his blue eyes tearing her apart

She gulped "I thought you just needed to satisfy your needs, placate your lust, we both did, that's all"

"I thought that too but something unpredictable happened"

She stared at him, was he really implying what she thought? She inhaled deeply before speaking.

"This" she gestured between them "_Us_…" she passed a hand through her long hair "I can't be your fuck buddy"

"I never asked you to be"

"What do you want then, John?"

"_You_"

His reply floored her, the oxygen left her lungs and her hands shook a little… he kept staring at her with those blue eyes, waiting for an answer.

"This isn't funny, John" her voice was barely a whisper

"No it's not, at all"  
"I don't know what to say"

"I think you do, you're just too scared to say it out loud"

She shook her head biting her lips "How do you do that? Reading me like an open book? Am I so predictable?"

"You are for me now," he smiled "In a good way though"

Zoe played with her fingers nervously "I don't like it"

"What?"

"Me being so transparent. That's not who I am, I..."

He reached and took her hands in his "Zoe don't freak out, I'm not one of your clients, I know you, you don't have to prove me anything, there's no need to hide or pretend with me"

"What about you?" She pulled her hands back

He exhaled "I'm not hiding or pretending with you"

_Silence._

"Look Zoe, maybe it won't be easy, we're not normal people because of your jobs, we live on the dark side of the moon, but we can create our kind of normality"

"It must have been a really _great_ night if you're suggesting that…" she smirked

John noticed her change as if she was retreating, going back to her comfort zone because what he was proposing was scary and new, challenging and difficult and she had never thought he wanted it.

"You know that sex has nothing to do with it" his eyes bored into her

Yeah she knew that, she felt it, on her skin, in her heart, everywhere, he did make her feel that during every single second of their intercourse. He gently caressed her face and she closed her eyes melting under his touch.

"John… I'm not good at these things"

"Neither I am, we can be bad together"

She smirked at his double-entendre and kissed him, he raised her and put her on his lap attacking those soft lips of hers. _God, that woman!_ He made him remember how it felt like being alive, being normal and happy even for just some hours and he was addicted to that sensation, he was addicted to her.

His hands were everywhere, he needed to feel her, make up for lost time they wasted because being far from her since the first moment he met her has been a torture, more painful than what he was willing to admit. His teeth, gently nipping her neck and shoulders, lowered the straps of her burgundy nightie, the silk slid down her body revealing her perfect breast, her flat abdomen… even with her puffy eyes and tousled hair, she was stunning.

He kissed her hard while she unbuckled his belt and freed his erection, caressing and pumping it up and down slowly, he groaned in her mouth, her touch, her kisses, her scent was driving him crazy. His hand slid between her legs finding her more than ready for him, he stroked her clitoris eliciting moans she tried to muffle and then lowered her on him filling her completely.

Her pleasure was his pleasure, a long high he didn't want to come down from, because she was so much beautiful coming in his arms he almost couldn't take it. She rested her head on his shoulder trying to control her erratic heartbeat and he kissed her temple… no more words for that night, just the sound of their heavy breaths.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Hey guys, thanks for the reviews! I'll try to post once a week but I can't promise anything!**_

_**Enjoy the chapter and review **_

After that night at the Coronet and then at her apartment, Zoe has been distant.

She has been very busy with her job, they both have been but there was something else John couldn't quite understand and he hated when that happened. John called her several times but she was always very evasive blaming her lack of time so becoming suspicious, he thought to keep an eye on her when he wasn't working. She seemed tired and physically sick, not her usual always-put together self, something was wrong, maybe did she get a flu or a stomach bug? Or was it just stress? She was hiding something, he was sure of it, she couldn't fool him.

After some days of shadowing her, John decided to break into her apartment. He remembered the kitchen on the right, the big living room with the couch where he made love to her, the glass coffee table she kept her gun hidden under and all the way to the right her bedroom… everything seemed as usual. The smell of her perfume invaded the environment like a vivid mark, a sign she was there even when she wasn't, that was her "den", the safe place where she could undress of her armor and be herself and he was profaning it.

John looked for a clue following unconsciously Finch's steps when he had been there, searching the living room and her bedroom, the walk-in closet, the bedside tables' drawers, in each possible place she could hide something including the trash in the kitchen and in the bathroom when… he found it, not one but three. He felt every muscles of his body contract, his fist clenched and the rage growing fast, so inhaled deeply trying to control himself: he really needed to talk to her!

Zoe Morgan has never felt so grateful for the end of a working day, she was exhausted and all she wanted to do was arriving home, kicking her heels off and taking a hot bath, she deserved it. Her thoughts wandered towards John… she knew the way she behaved during the past weeks wasn't the solution, he wanted to commit to her in their own "special" way and she was sure he'd have expected more from her but at the moment she didn't know what to do, she was tired, confused and worried.

She opened the door of her apartment and jumped scared before recognizing the dark figure seated on her couch, _John_… her heart skipped a beat.

"John, what are you doing here? You scared me!"

It took her a second to get that wasn't a pleasant visit. His face was a dark and cold mask, he barely could contain his anger pointing his blue eyes to her like a weapon, he was scaring her now, for real. She swallowed removing her coat and heels, then headed to the kitchen to take a glass.

"You shouldn't drink" his voice low and bitter hit her

"I was pouring a drink for you" She sighed and handed the glass to him

"I don't want it. When did you plan on telling me _that_?" he said pointing out the three pregnancy tests on her coffee table

"Did you search in my trash?" she yelled angry "How dare you…"

But his voice overcame her and his body, threatening, towered over her "WHEN DID YOU PLAN ON TELLING ME THAT?"

She passed a hand through her hair "I don't know"

"Is this why you were avoiding me?"

"I wasn't avoiding you"

"You were, Zoe!"

"I've been busy with my job"

"Lies! This is not only about you!"

She cuddled up on her couch far from him. She needed space and time and he just cornered her, she'd have told him but not before processing it and being able to think about it without freaking out.

_I am pregnant_, she tried to repeat it in her mind but she only felt to throw up. How could that happen?

"How long did you know it?"

"Today but I suspected it since weeks, I just didn't have the courage to do the tests"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know John! God, I was terrified and I hoped to be wrong but my period is always on time, I should say _was_…"

She lowered her gaze to her hands rested on her belly.

"Did you take an appointment with the doctor?"

"Not yet, I'll call tomorrow"

"Are you sure it's mine?"

Zoe grabbed the glass and threw the drink in his face "Get out of my house!"

"I needed to ask you"

"Go away, you bastard!"

She yelled pushing and hitting him with her fists on his chest but he blocked her wrists and pushed her against the wall.

"Look at me, Zoe! I had to be sure the baby was mine"

"After all your speech of _creating our kind of normality and being bad together_ you thought you could fuck someone else?" she moved frantically trying to free herself "Who the hell do you think I am? A slut?"

His features softened and he loosed the grip of her "I could never think that of you"

She was so mad, at him and at herself for the tears she couldn't contain anymore

"You think you wouldn't kick you out of my house if you weren't the father of my baby?"

"Zoe…"

"Don't. Go away John, I want to be alone"

She didn't even wait for him to go, she simply turned on her heels and went to the bathroom and letting the water flow to fill the tub, she crumbled to the floor started crying; John heard the sobs she tried to muffle and entered the bathroom… she didn't want him to see that way, weak and vulnerable, hurt and tired, a mess. She fixed problems for a living but she couldn't fix herself.

She covered her face with her hands mumbling "I told you to go away"

"I'm not going anywhere Zoe, whether you like it or not" he bent on his knees and moved her hands to brush her tears away with his thumbs "Come on, you need that bath"

He helped her to get up from the floor. Zoe tied her hair up and started undressing while John checked the water and pour some shower gel in it… _vanilla_, like her smell. He tried not to look at her glorious naked body, she was so beautiful and many weeks passed since the last time, he wanted her.

She sunk in the tub and closed her eyes, she wanted to shut the world out, shut _him_ out. His question crushed her when she thought anything could destroy her anymore, as if he hit exactly that tiny spot that made even the most shatterproof glass break. She felt the tears forming again behind her lids, damn hormones and damn John Reese who put her in that situation!

She tried to focus on the warm water and how her sore muscles started relaxing after the long day spent walking around on her heels, she sighed loudly and looked at him, he didn't move from his position staring at her for all the time. Getting control on herself back, Zoe spoke low and calm.

"You don't need to stay, John. I can take care of myself"

"I see" he answered bitterly

"What was that supposed to mean?"

"You let yourself starve to avoid to throw up in front of your clients, a very responsible way to take care of yourself and the baby"

"How do you… you watched me!" she felt the urge to throw him something, instead gripped the tub's edges, her knuckles was turning white for the rage

"I had to. You were acting strange and I didn't know what was going on but I did know you were hiding me something"

"Good job _soldier_!" the belittling use of the noun didn't go unnoticed to him "Well now you discovered the big secret, you can go"

"You don't dismiss me, Zoe!"

"I should have told you it wasn't yours" she hissed, a look of provocation in her eyes

"What did you say?" he approached her

"You heard me"

He looked at her as if she was insane, he couldn't believe his ears and then he got it: she used his same way to hurt him, the baby. Zoe read the pain in his eyes and if she thought to feel a kind of satisfaction for that little revenge, she was wrong.

"Now you know how you made me feel"

"It wasn't my intention to hurt you, I needed to know"

"I don't owe you anything! And you can't watch me, break into my house, search in my trash and behave as if you had some kind of right on me"

"This baby's mine too"

What it was supposed to be a relaxing bath turned into a fight and the water was turning cold, so Zoe stepped out of the tub and wrapped herself into a white long bathrobe.

"It won't be for long" she answered after tying the belt

"What?"

"You're a smart man, John. You should have known since when you found the tests"

"Zoe…"

"It's the best decision"

"For who?" he yelled

"For both of us. We're not normal people and considering our line of work we can't take care of a baby, neither of us want it"

"You don't know! You can't talk for me"

"Be honest with yourself. You're Finch's puppy"  
"I am not anybody's puppy!"

"Whatever but every time he calls you disappears"

"It's work! And you should know it better than anyone else"

"Exactly! It's work John, it always is and neither of us have time for a baby! You want to save the world? Fine, do it! But not with a baby waiting for you at home, not with a baby who needs a father. You won't do this to my child!"

"_Your child?_" he repeated using a scorning tone "You're the one who wants to get rid of it!"

"Stop it"

"No, I won't stop. You're talking as if the problem was my job. What about yours? You think to be safe? Do I have to remind you how we met, Zoe?"

"It's not about you indeed. It just… it shouldn't have happened"

She left the bathroom looking for something to wear in her closet.

"So that's it?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"Would you have ever told me?" the pain she saw in his eyes reached his voice now "About the baby or would you have gotten rid of it without a word?"

"Knowing you you'd have found out by yourself but if it makes you feel better, I'd have told you"

"Why are you doing this?"

"This what?"

"You're doing everything you can to push me away, to make me hate you"

"To hate someone you've to love her first"

"Who said I don't love you…?"

Zoe froze in place and those treacherous tears stung again at the corner of her eyes. She simply turned around, needing a break from his look, his words, the heat of his body in her bedroom, she just wanted him to go away, it was too much, too painful. She'd have never imagined he wanted a baby, to become a father, in the best scenario he'd have let her choose what to do and taken his responsibility if necessary, anything more but as always, she underestimated him.

"Say something, Zoe"

"I'm sorry, John"

He stormed out her apartment without a word and as soon as she heard the door shutting, she fell on her knees sobbing.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Thanks for all your reviews, I really appreciate them! This chapter is really emotional, I hope you like it and forgive me for my mistakes! Enjoy and reviews! **_

Since that night at her apartment Zoe didn't hear of John anymore, she knew he was beyond mad at her but she couldn't find anything to tell him to make things better so she simply chose to disappear.

It was better that way, making a clean break and moving on. Probably they'd have met again, sometimes _the city_ could be incredibly small but anything she couldn't handle, it was her job handling things, fixing them and that was what she'd have done with her life.

Spring in New York City was a sight not to miss, the air was warm and it was nice being outside, taking a break from her crazy schedule. Seated at the table of that nice coffee shop and sipping her cappuccino, Zoe took the eco photo from her bag and stared at it: the baby was barely a tiny dot, almost invisible yet so present in her life, so much to turn her world upside down completely.

When the doctor told her she was a healthy six weeks pregnant woman, perfectly capable to have a beautiful pregnancy despite her age, she simply asked when she could get an abortion. That was two weeks ago and she still didn't do it, Zoe brushed the photo with her fingertips, almost caressing her _dot_, other four weeks to make a decision that would have changed her completely, no matter if positive or not.

Suddenly she felt to be watched and she didn't need to wonder who was, John had to be near if she could sense his presence so much. In the deep of her heart, she knew he wouldn't have stopped shadowing her, not until she'd have made her decision… it was his child too, he was right and whatever she decided, she'd have to informed him.

She finished her cappuccino, put the photo back and left the café, her break was over and she had a very busy day ahead.

Zoe Morgan has never been anyone's plus one. She was the kind of woman so influent to bring a man to an exclusive event, not the other way around but that was a very special occasion, an "emergency" that required a formal attire and she couldn't say no.

Seated in the limo, Zoe watched the endless lights of the city sparkled outside the window and sighed brushing her expensive gown. She had bought it long time ago but never had the right occasion to wear it, she usually worked behind the scenes in her sexy sheath dresses, but that night her presence was necessary on the stage.

The limo stopped in front of The Met and the escort opened the door welcoming her. As soon as she stepped out of the car, a rain of flashes hit her: it was one of the most important event of the season, famous personalities were expected, she should have imagined it. She walked on the red carpet with her usual self-confidence that many women envied, gorgeous as ever in her sweetheart trumpet gown, an array of mirrored crystals covered the bodice until the knees, where soft pale pink tulle caressed her legs dying to the floor. Hided under the tulle, her signature red sole shoes, silver_ Christian Louboutin Debout Patent_ and to match the gown, a silver rounded clutch. Her long wavy hair were styled in a perfect bun that uncovered her face, enhanced with just the right amount of make-up, two drops of Chanel n5 on her neck, her grandma's stud diamonds at her ears and the tennis bracelet she bought herself after her first very lucrative job.

She felt she could conquer the world in her shining armor, every man in the room turned to look at her in awe, she took everybody's breath away including his, John's. He was under cover as waiter, watching the last number Finch assigned him, he didn't expect her to be there so kept staring until she reached the side of Senator Jones, _his number_, who kissed her hand gallantly and she smiled making his blood boil. So that was the reason why she was there? Was she her mistress? The Zoe he knew was far too smart to make a mistake like that but they seemed to cozy to be just a work social meeting. He already cloned the Senator's phone so could easily listen them.

"Zoe Morgan, you're a sight for sore eyes"

"Always kind, Senator"

"Champagne?" he offered

"No thanks, just a soft drink for me, please" she asked the waiter

"So professional, huh?"

"Always"

"I'll introduce you some people, then after socializing a bit we can go talking somewhere more private"

"Sure"

John watched Zoe and Senator joined a group of people and moved on to the introductions, soon after the waiter brought her the soft drink… and that reminded him of the baby. He knew she still didn't get the abortion, watching every step she took and tracking her phone any moment. That same morning he saw her look at the eco photo, she seemed so sad, so lonely, he had the push to go to her but his anger stopped him, it wouldn't have changed anything anyway.

He kept spying the conversation, compliments, small talks, her polite laugh, anything that was worth to listen but he couldn't stop, telling himself he was just doing his job.

The sweet voice of a famous French artist singing a special version of "_Tu si na cosa grande_" invaded the museum and the Senator turned to Zoe smiling.

"Shall we dance?" he offered her the hand

"It's not the right move, Senator. You're married, we don't want the press thinking you've a mistress, you'll have to pay me so much more to fix it then" she smirked

"It's just a dance Zoe, relax"

She hesitated a second before taking his hand, if he didn't care, why would she? And if she was right, her fee would increase any moment. Zoe felt uncomfortable in his arms, she knew the Senator since long time, even before he got elected and he has always been a gentleman but with that dress on men could easily changed their mind.

At the other part of the room, John was clenching his fists, jealousy was a bitter pill to swallow. He stared angrily at his hand on the small of her back, their closeness, the secure way he lead her during their dance… if that damn Senator wasn't his number, he'd have already broken his face! He should have relaxed, she wasn't his mistress and thinking better how could she? But seeing her in someone else's arms – even for an innocent dance – drove him out of his mind.

"Do you speak Italian?" the Senator asked her moving along the room

"I don't"

"The woman's singing about how important the man is for her and asks him to tell her if he loves her like she does"

She couldn't avoid to think of John for a moment "Very cheesy"

"I gather that you're not a romantic woman, Ms Morgan"

"I'm a practical woman, I've seen too much to still believe in romanticism"

The smell of his cologne grew stronger when he got closer to whisper in her ear "One day you'll find a man who makes you change your mind Zoe"

The song ended preventing her from answering bitterly like she'd have liked to. What did that man know about her? How did he dare to tell her those things? If she remembered correctly, she was there to give _him_ advices, to fix his problems, not the other way around. She inhaled touching her neck, she did need a drink, a real one, damn pregnancy!

The Senator was stopped for other greetings and introductions and Zoe took the opportunity to detach herself from the group and enjoy few minutes alone. John's eyes were fixed on her while she watched closely the exhibition's masterpiece, the unique creation of _Van Cleef & Arpels, _the most beautiful diamond she had ever seen. She never wore many jewelries, never display a status, she was called for her services, not to show off her money but the sight of that diamond made her feel nostalgic, she didn't know why, maybe there wasn't any reason and the hormones were just playing her a bad trick, but she thought of her grandmother, she'd have appreciated it.

He was about to go talking to her when the Senator appeared by her side and John was resigned to another round of introductions and pleasantries when… It happened all of a sudden, he didn't even have time to react when gun shots broke the idle talk in the room. Blood, screams, the noise of glasses shattering and hurried steps, everything was in slow motion: Zoe and the Senator have been shot.

The moment he saw her nothing was important anymore, Zoe, the woman he loved, the mother of his child, was on the floor bleeding from the abdomen, he run to her pressing his hands on the wound, Finch's panicked voice was just an irritating sound in the background, he wanted to yell at him to stop talking because even if the police arrived, he wouldn't have left her for any reason in the world. John kept whispering her reassuring words and her hand, shaking, reached and covered his, her eyes became watery, they both knew what was happening. She seemed a fallen angel in her elegant dress stained of blood, her messy hair and the drooled make-up, but no matter the way she looked, he'd have always found her beautiful and in that moment he realized that he did love her, so deeply to ache and he wasn't mad at her because he wanted a baby, but because he wanted a baby_ with her_.

The ambulance's siren woke him up from that horrible nightmare that was the reality, the paramedics arrived to aid Zoe but couldn't do anything for the Senator, he was already dead. While they laid her on the gurney, John kept holding her as if she could just vanish front of his eyes and didn't want to let her go but he had to if he wanted them to save her… holding in his pain he loosened the grip, one finger after the other slipped out of her hand and they carried her away.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 is now online! It's a bit short but I promise I'll make myself forgive with the next one… enjoy and review! **

John jumped on his motorbike zipping through New York's streets so fast to look like a crazy dot, his head full of horrible and scary thoughts, he knew there were high chances she lost the baby but he couldn't lose her too, he simply could not. He arrived to the hospital before the ambulance itself and watched when they brought her directly to surgery: paramedics were running through the corridors, blood and I.V. She was unconscious now.

_Are you a relative? _The nurse asked but he didn't know how to answer. What to say? He was… what? Her boyfriend? No. The father of her child? Yes. The man who left her without going back? Yes. The helpless man you watched her bleeding on the floor? Yes.

Noting his hands covered by blood and misunderstanding his silence with confusion, the nurse was about to call the security but Finch arrived just in time to save the situation and lead him to the bathroom to wash himself. It was useless asking him how he knew John was at the hospital, the wizard of technology, the man who created _God_, could track his partner with a blink. They headed to the waiting room but John didn't want him there, he wanted to be alone, to fight with his demons without any witness because it was all his fault, he was the one who had to protect and he wasn't ready, he wasn't alert, he was lost in her and Zoe ended up being a collateral damage, a collateral damage the machine wasn't able to predict.

"Mister Reese, are you okay?"

John didn't reply, he kept pacing back and forth with the hands in his hair, wild and red eyes, his white shirt unbuttoned and stained of blood, _her blood_, he looked like a dangerous caged animal. He'd have killed that son of a bitch who shot her as soon as she was out of the surgery, out of danger, until then… back and forth, back and forth, again and again and again.

"John, she's going to be fine" Finch said putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder

"You don't know that!" he grabbed and slammed Finch against the wall, the arm blocking his neck and those mad eyes staring at him "Like _your_ damn machine didn't know she was in danger!"

John was blaming him, was blaming himself, was blaming the world, so mean and bastard to make that happen. He let Harold go, his voice trembling "She's pregnant with my child, Finch"

As soon as those words left his lips, he fell on the floor like a burst balloon under the shocking gaze of Finch; he figured something happened between John and Zoe that day at the Coronet hotel but he didn't expect that. It was true, John has been acting strangely during the last two months, his awful mood and lack of sense of humor, his tendency to spend more time alone, more angry, more lonely, that explained all. If there was something to say, Harold couldn't find it, he came back to his chair watching his friend falling apart, his ex CIA friend, trained to hide emotions, thoughts and feelings was now seated on the floor desperate, a broken man.

John Reese felt he was drowning, he couldn't breathe and his head was exploding. The idea of losing Zoe, to lose the woman he loved _again_, for the second time, was unbearable, he barely survived after Jessica's death, turning into a dirty ghost who wandered for the city until Finch gave him a reason to live and to fight for. But if Zoe died, everything would have been useless, if she died, in one moment all the stars would have been darkened.

He had never prayed in his entire life, but in that moment – when he was literally hitting rock bottom – he begged God to save her, to let her live, because he wouldn't made it without her.

Streams of re-discovered pain seemed to leak from his never healed wounds, he'd have ripped his own heart of the chest if it could make him feel a little better, if it could make him feel a little less.

John recollected all the moments he lived with Zoe since the first time, he must have fallen in love with her the night she came back home barefoot in that black dress that didn't leave much to the imagination but it took him so much time to realize it. She was quite a woman, strong, self-confident and always willing to help them, to help him insomuch to accept to marry him. A brief smile passed on his lips thinking about the nights in Far Rockaway, drinking scotch, smoking cigars and playing poker and she was good, so good to make him lose all his money… he'd have never divorced her. Flashes of their first rendezvous at Coronet hotel passed through his mind: the arousal in her eyes, the unexpected deep connection he felt with her, how they made love, how they conceived their baby.

Zoe's face, her expression when she was on the floor kept haunting him, fear and shock in her eyes, he could have prevented it, he could have… John passed a hand through his short hair frantic feeling hopeless.

He kept blaming himself, he let the guard down distracted by her presence, blinded by jealousy and that was the result: one life lost and other two hanging in the balance.

Waiting without any update or news was a torture, he needed to know, he couldn't sit on his ass doing anything so he started pacing back and forth again.

Finch offered him a coffee but he refused, unloading his anger towards the machine on Finch seemed the right punishment: why didn't the machine send her number? Why didn't it warn them of the danger? Did it consider Zoe irrelevant? No, because it already sent her number once so why? So many questions but no answers.

After what it felt like an eternity, the doctor entered the waiting room, the expression on the his face made John's stomach sink.

"Are you Zoe Morgan's relatives?"

"Yes, how is she?"

And he started talking.


	6. Chapter 6

**So sorry for my delay but my friend was in town and I didn't have time. Chapter 6 is finally on… enjoy and review, please! **

_Bip. Bip. Bip._

The machines in the room signaled her vital signs. _Zoe was alive_.

The doctor said she barely survived, she lost much blood and the surgery was far more difficult than expected due to complications. The bullet drilled through the spleen, just few inches to the left and it'd have hit the uterus. _The baby was miraculously alive too_.

John was seated near the bed holding her manicured hand, she was still with him, _they_ were still with him, he couldn't think of a bigger miracle than that. Zoe was still unconscious, the sedatives' effect they gave her for the surgery still didn't run out but he was patient, he wasn't going anywhere until she'd have opened her eyes again. After all they have been through, he wasn't even sure she wanted him there, Zoe could be so proud and stubborn but considering the situation he hoped she'd have understood. This time there wouldn't have been tricks or games, he wanted to be with her, wanted her to be _his_ even if she didn't want to keep the baby, he loved her and couldn't stay away anymore.

He raised his head and looked at her, her hair were scattered on the pillow and her breathing was slow as if she was simply asleep, as if anything happened and she was in her bed after making love with him like that night at her apartment. He had watched her sleep until the dawn, incapable to take his eyes off her, drinking her in, every little detail, realizing he had never really seen her before, even if they had worked together and went undercover together. Zoe wasn't the kind of woman who goes unnoticed but he had always looked at her without really seeing her, maybe because of her walls, of that façade she showed the world or maybe because he pretended not be enough careful, knowing how affected by her he already was.

Finch showed up at the door, a look of concern in his eyes, of course he was glad that Zoe was alive, indeed that worry wasn't for her.

"How is she?"

"She's gonna be fine" he hissed trying to convince himself more than Harold

"I'm sure she is"

"Why are you still here, _Harold_?"

John never called him by his name and the fake sweet way he did underlined how much he was annoyed by his presence.

"I just want to be sure…"

"Of what? Of what exactly?"

"I know you're mad, Mr. Reese, maybe we should talk about it another time"

"And what's there to talk about? **Your machine** failed and I was about to lose her, to lose _them both_"

Finch didn't say anything because he did get Zoe's number, the truth was that John wasn't reachable but couldn't tell him, it was no one's fault but he thought it was better he and his machine took all the blame.

"I'm sorry"

John stared at him, his eyes cold and numb "I don't care"

Finch lowered his gaze "I should go"

"Yeah you should. Don't count on me for the job, not until she'll be fully recovered"

The man nodded and left. Walking out the hospital, he remembered the first time he had met John, his long hair and beard, dirty clothes, his lifeless look and he gave him a job, a mission, a reason to reborn and have a new life. The implications of that were pretty clear, both of them had lost someone, they knew the rules of the game and the importance of not to have any bond, to live in the darkness. Finch sighed, John fell in love and even worse, he fell for someone who had a dangerous job like he did, someone he wouldn't be able to protect and now he was going to be a father… that changed everything. He was relieved that both Zoe and the baby were fine, he had never seen John so freaked out and probably would never be able to forget it, for a moment he did think he was going to die at the hand of him. John needed time to cool down and think properly, they'd have found a way to make things work.

…

John must have dozen off, because the slight movement of her hand in his woke him up, Zoe opened her eyes slowly winching in pain, she looked around confused and not recognizing the environment around her she started panicking.

"Zoe hey, I'm here"

"John…" her voice sounded raspy after so many hours without drinking and talking

"Shh," he caressed her forehead "You're at the hospital, they shot you" she opened her eyes wide and sensing her fear, he reassured her "The baby's fine. I'm going to call the nurse, I'll be right back"

Zoe's brain started waking up slowly and working again. She was at the hospital because she has been shot but the baby was fine, _their baby, _she put a hand on her belly and exhaled relieved.

She knew she was at the MET to meet a client, the Senator … oh God the Senator! Was he okay? She wasn't sure. In a corner of her mind she remembered the gunshot's sound and the blood yes, the smell of blood, John's hand pressing the wound and his eyes… then all was blank.

Moving slightly she tried to get where her injury was but she felt as if she had been hit by a truck, all her body was in pain especially her belly.

The doctor and the nurse entered the room followed by John, they checked her vital signs and explained her what happened and that she'd have stayed there for the next days. The doctor, who was going to visit her again later during his shift, recommended her to ask to stay in bed and ask for help in case she needed to use the bathroom, then he left and a deep silence fell in the room.

John seated near her bed again watching her.

"What happened?" she asked "How's the Senator?"

"You both have been shot. He's dead, he was the target, you've been…" he inhaled trying to contain the anger "a collateral damage"

Zoe looked at him, she could see so much pain and anger in his eyes

"I shouldn't have been there, you know" she said playing with the hem of sheet "It was a last minute call and I couldn't say no"

"You never say no to your job"

It came out bitterly, like an accusation but it wasn't his intention or maybe it was

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it"

"I think you did but it's okay, you're right"

"I don't wanna fight anymore Zoe, I almost lost you and…" his voice trembled and he passed a hand on his face "Why does it have to be so complicated between us?"

"I don't know"

He wanted to tell her _Give me a chance, I love you, I don't wanna live without you anymore, stay with me _but it seemed his tongue was tied and he couldn't say a word. He held her gaze then decided to change the subject…

"How are you feeling?"

"As if I've been hit by a truck"

"Yeah that's what I imagined. It'll be a very long recovery, gunshot wounds are not a piece of cake"

She said nothing and he continued

"I told Finch I won't go back to work until you're fully recovered"

"There's no need to John, when they discharge me I'll hire a nurse"

"It's not a problem to me"

"I know but I do prefer..."

"God Zoe, why do you have to be so stubborn?" He shut her up "I wanna do it, I wanna take care of you, I wanna be with you!"

Losing his temper helped him to say what he couldn't manage to but left her speechless.

"I… I didn't want you to feel forced to do it just because I'm pregnant with your child"

"You know that's not the only reason…"

Their gazes met and there was no need of words.

"If you decided to interrupt the pregnancy… I'd understand"

"I haven't decided yet John"

"You still have time, don't you?"

"Four weeks"

"Okay"

"I'm sorry"

"For what?"

"Everything, the way I handled the pregnancy news or just my suspects wasn't fair towards you" she lowered her gaze, her following words were just a whisper "You know, I thought I'd have never seen you again"

"I thought that too and it almost killed me"

She let his words sinking deep into her skin just looking at him, his honesty, almost brutal, wasn't hiding an hint of scolding. He seemed so out of his element, so different from usual and so shattered and since they started talking she noticed his appearance: his white shirt open and stained of blood, his red and haunted eyes, his features hardened by tireness and worry.

"I'm sorry"

That time he didn't need to ask for what, he did know it. He caressed her cheek and she leaned into his touch closing her eyes.

"Go back to sleep, you had a tough night"

"Okay. Night John"

"Night Zoe"


	7. Chapter 7

**So sorry for the delay guys but I kind of put this fanfiction aside at the moment so this will be the last chapter I write for now. I'm sorry to disappoint the people who read and reviewed it, maybe I'll start working on it again in the future. Thanks! **

Taking care of a woman who had never asked for help in her life wasn't an easy task.

Zoe Morgan was independent, strong and unfortunately also stubborn and proud. She had become the woman she wanted to be since she was a little girl, someone who would have never needed anyone, who would have never suffered because of anyone, the kind of person who could make the journalists pack and go away from people's grass, a powerful figure and being like that had its price.

She remembered herself as a little girl, she was having a good life, a happy family, a beautiful house in the suburbs, fancy clothes and many toys, she had everything a kid might need before her world had been turned upside down: her father got arrested, the scandal, the press tormenting them and one day she found herself living with her mother in a small apartment in Queens.

She secretly swore herself she'd have never felt like that again, in need and there she was now, making that poor man's life impossible.

"Zoe please"

"I am fine, John. They removed me stitches two days ago, I am not a porcelain doll anymore"

He grumbled. The past six weeks had been quite an hell courtesy of hard-headed Ms. Morgan. John knew she wouldn't have made it easy but didn't imagine like that... He had fought in war, worked for the CIA and risked his life every day since and regardless he considered all that far less challenging than dealing with a pregnant, sick and stubborn woman.

"The doctor said you don't have to get strained"

"I know, I know"

Zoe looked at him in her silk white pajamas. He looked tired, annoyed and worried, she was pretty sure he didn't get much sleep during the past weeks, he was always alert as if something might happen any moment. She knew things had been a bit rocky between them and she had been insufferable and demanding, she couldn't stand herself anymore.

She exhaled.

"I'm sorry, I've been terrible, I still am and I can't help myself" she passed a hand through her hair and watched him carefully "I'm not used to this John, I always took care of myself and I can't stand people telling me what to do or not to do"

"I am not 'people' Zoe"

"Who are you then?"

"You tell me" his piercing eyes shone

Silence.

"And as always you don't say anything"

"Things are complicated between us John, it's no news"

"No, they are not, you make them complicated"

She snorted "So it's my fault now?"

"Why can't you just be honest about your feelings? If you don't wanna be honest with me, at least be it with yourself"

"What does it make you be so confident I've feelings for you?" She asked cheekily

"Don't play this game with me, Zoe, because you lose." He stepped closer caging her against the wall "If you didn't get pregnant, we'd be together now even it sounds ridiculous given the circumstances. You know I'm right"

John realized their closeness only after he finished talking, her smell hitting his nostrils, the heat of her body, her soft breath, they were so close losing in each other gaze. The air grew thicker, the attraction strong between them so much that he wanted to touch her, kiss her instead forced himself to wait for her move. She swallowed and caressed his cheek, his eyes closing under that so needed connection, it passed too much time since last time they had a simple contact and he craved it in silence: he didn't only wanted her, he needed her and that was so unbearable for someone like him, she wasn't the only one who never needed anyone.

He opened his eyes and she cut the distance kissing him, biting his lower lip and he moaned, forcing her to open her mouth, sliding his tongue in it forcefully. Zoe responded the kiss with the same passion, her hands wandering on his sculpted chest, only his white shirt preventing her from touching his skin, the same skin she wanted to taste again, devouring every inch of that man who stole her heart. She reached the waistband of his pants and started unbuckling his belt but he stopped her.

"We can't" he exhaled, his forehead pressed against hers

She looked at him naughtily and caressing the bulge of his pants "You're so hard..."

"Zoe please," he groaned "You're not helping"

"Oh I will"

She freed his erection pumping it slowly, caressing the wide crown with her thumb and licking the pre-cum from it, he gritted his teeth. John knew she was enjoying it, seeing him like that, at her mercy, almost begging and when he thought he could almost lose his mind, she sank on her knees and took him all in her mouth.

"Christ Zoe!"

It was so good, too good, she was good. Her velvet little mouth was gripping him like a fist, that only made him grow thicker… God, she was sucking him so hard, he had to control himself or he'd have embarrassed himself coming after two minutes like a horny teenager. He didn't even remember last time he had an orgasm, he was too busy working and shadowing her, too worried about her and the baby, pleasuring himself wasn't even the latest of his thoughts. When she started licking his cock like her favorite ice-cream shooting him a saucy look and he felt he could explode.

"Fuck, I'm coming"

His hand went fisting her hair and he started pumping his hips forward fucking her mouth and spurting his seed inside her. Zoe swallowed all he had to give licking it clean then stood up smirking at him.

"You're welcome, John" she said gloating

She moved but he stopped her claiming her lips and smiling "I knew you were a talented woman but I didn't imagine..."

"Now you do"

Taking her in his arms, John let a hand slip in the waistband of her pajamas pants.

"You don't have to"

"You didn't either. Oh Zoe, you're so wet" he nipped her earlobe and Zoe closed her eyes enjoying his skilled fingers inside her, stroking her clitoris, making her crazy of lust for him

"I want you, John"

"You know we can't, you're not fully recovered"

He pressed hard on her clitoris and she moaned

"We'll be careful"

"I can't risk your health" he hissed pumping his fingers faster

"Oh John"

That was what he did to her. He barely touched her and she started trembling and tightening around his fingers, riding the orgasm he tried to prolong as long as possible. He held her in his arms and kissed her temple, she was breathing hard trying to slow down her erratic heartbeat.

"You should go back to bed" he said softly

"I think I need a shower first... Care to join me?"

"Zoe..."

"What?" She snapped at him irritated by his tone "I'm not sick John, if you don't want to fuck me just say it!"

"Are you out of your mind? You almost made me lose it when you sucked me off! I want you too, I'm just trying to be..."

"An ass! That's what you are!"

Her eyes filled with tears and she rushed to the bathroom before she started crying.

Hormones! John passed a hand on his face desperate, he didn't know how to deal with it, how could she only think he didn't want her? He craved her so badly. The sound of the water was muffling her sobs but he could hear them, so he went to the bathroom and started stripping himself to join her.

Zoe didn't even notice his presence until strong arms wrapped around her waist, his face buried in her hair.

"Go away!"

"No"

"Let me go John"

"No, I love you" he whispered

She froze. If it wasn't for the hot water cascading on them she might think she had become a frozen statue.

"What did you say?" She stammered

"You heard me"

"Say it again"

She turned around to look at him. His gorgeous body was naked in front of her, his blue were eyes full of love and fear.

"I love you Zoe Morgan"

"John..." Her throat tightened

He shook his head "I shouldn't have told you"

"I love you too"

"You're saying because I told you"

"No," she took his face in her hands "I fell in love with you that night at the Coronet or maybe that was the moment I realized it, I don't know but I thought you'd have never felt the same, I thought that I was just a distraction..."

He was about to talk but she stopped him

"... Then you came to my apartment and gave me all that speech, I thought it was all a dream, it couldn't be real and we were just two fools but I was happy. Then I started feeling sick and missed my period and I freaked out so I did what I do best, I shut you out. You are the only one who managed to get so close to me, to the real me and you wanted me anyway, you were and are also the father of my child, it scared and still scares the hell out of me but I love you, God I'm so in love with you"

He kissed her passionately trying to convey all his love, the fear of losing her and of being rejected in that kiss, because she meant so much to him, she was his heart. They broke the kiss to catch a breath and brushed her tears away with his thumb.

"Please don't cry baby"

"Call me baby again and I'll break your legs"

He laughed hugging her tightly against his chest

"Got the message"

"I'd stay like this forever" she whispered enjoying his strong arms around her, the sound of his heartbeat, his mouth on her temple.

"Yeah me too"

"I wanna keep the baby"

"Really?" He broke the hug to look at her, happiness in his voice

"Yes, she survived a shooting, she's a tough one like her daddy"

"She?" He smiled

"I've the feeling it's a girl"

"Well she'll be beautiful like her mommy" he kissed her again "Thank you, I'm so happy"

"I know, I am too"

"Come on, let's wash ourselves and go back to bed, I want to cuddle my girls"

"Thank you" she caressed his cheek

"For what?"

"For being you"

He kissed her palm "It won't be easy because we're both stubborn and control freaks but it'll work, we'll make it work"

"I know"


End file.
